Crush

It’s alright for our younger ones to have crushes. It is not something that we should sweep under the rug. So many parents I know think it is inculcating malice among our children when we entertain them talking about their crushes. Hey, don’t you think it is the other way around? The more that we appear indignant to them about these things, the more that they will get curious with it. How can we leave them to their own thoughts, how can we not be there for them in this very natural process of growing up? We are parents EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. We are not parents only on chosen occasions. If they reach the stage where they start to like the opposite sex, that is normal.

Would you as a parent like it when your child shares about it with others and not with you? I would like to be my son’s best friend. I would like to be the first one to know if he is hurt, or confused, or lonely. I would like to be there for him, like any friend would. As a parent, I do not just discipline him but I love him in ways that will help him to be the best that he can be. And that can only be possible when I do not allow any barriers to come between us. Setting a standard as a parent is a recipe for disaster. The only best standard for me is the standard of love, based on God’s words. If I focus on that, for sure the rest will just follow. We are parents. We are stewards of God’s love. We are not parents and rulers of our children.

This is Yssa. They are friends ever since they were four. At the age of six, my son wrote her his first ever poem. Back then he was certain he will never have any other crushes but Yssa. I would just nod and let him feel he is understood. That picture was taken last summer. Now he is in second grade. He declared Yssa is too far now and there is not chance of seeing her often. "I better look for another crush," he mused. Of course I knew there was already something that he wanted to tell me. Then later he told me he has a new crush. It's Nicole, the prettiest girl in their class. I gasped in much exaggerated eagerness and excitement. And he hugged me and said "Her eyes are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." I celebrate these stages of his growing up. Because each stage is a step closer to what God desires him to be.